If you’re not sure whether or not they need alone time, just ask. Say something like, “Do you want to be alone right now?” or, “Is this a good time to talk, or should I come back later?” If you live with an introvert, try to let them have their own space where they can go to be alone. For instance, they might need to go into their room and close the door sometimes.
For instance, you can say something like, “Hey, would you be interested in grabbing a drink tonight? I know you usually want some time alone after work, so maybe we could shoot for 8:00. ”
For example, if you know an introvert who’s a writer, you might ask them about what they’re currently working on. Say something like, “How’s that short story coming along? Did you want to bounce some plot ideas around?” Introverts tend to hold back their thoughts and feelings more than extroverts, so it’s important for them to vent from time to time. Let them know that you’re there if they want to talk, but don’t push them to open up if they’re not in the mood. On the other side of the coin, introverts often make great listeners. Don’t be afraid to open up to them about your own deep thoughts and feelings, if they have the energy for it!
Introverts may feel especially awkward about piping up in group conversations. If you’re chatting with several people and they look like they have something to say, give them an opening. For instance, say something like, “What do you think, Lila?” Listen attentively to what they have to say. Ask follow-up questions to show that you’re interested and paying attention. Keep in mind that some introverts are perfectly happy to just sit back and let others do the talking. When in doubt, you can always ask (but do it privately so you don’t put them on the spot). For instance, say something like, “Hey, was I talking too much back there? I wasn’t sure if you wanted to jump in and say something. ”
Asking them how they’re feeling, and what you can do to help if they’re stressed or down. Don’t keep pushing if they’re not in the mood to talk about it, though. Asking about their boundaries. For instance, are they okay with going to a party once in a while as long as they get to leave early, or are they only comfortable socializing in small groups? Checking in about whether they want company or need time alone.
For example, you might meet for coffee once a week, have a regular game night, or go for walks together.
Keep it low-key, and don’t push it if they say no. Say something like, “I’m having a little get-together with some of my college buddies this weekend if you want to come. If not, no biggie!” If they do show up, make it clear you don’t expect them to stay long or to participate in anything they don’t feel comfortable with. Say something like, “We’ll be playing some games later in case you’re interested, but I know you probably need to head out soon. ” Don’t surprise them or mislead them about what the event will be like. For instance, don’t say it will just be you and one other friend, then invite a bunch of other people to join you at the last minute.
If you really want to call them, ask or give them a warning first. Send a text saying something like, “Is this a good time to call? I just wanted to talk about our plans for next week. ” They might also enjoy connecting online (for example, over email, Facebook, instant messenger, or a chat platform, like Discord).
For example, you might say, “I’m inviting 6 of my coworkers over next week for a poker night, it’ll be on Friday at 7:00. Would you like to come?” Avoid putting pressure on them to make the plans, since this can be very stressful for a lot of introverts. [11] X Research source Give them a set time and date. If it doesn’t work, you can always try again another time.
For example, you might sit together and do work, listen to music, or quietly watch a TV show or movie together.